Skills you need to know to be a better caregiver

This post is for anyone who cares for another human being… that includes YOU if you currently care for a loved one, young or old.

Have you ever noticed a caregiver/parent who seems to have ‘it’ figured out? Despite having daily responsibilities and all the challenges that come with caregiving, they still have an active social life, successful career, relationships and have time for their own passions. How do they do it?

I’ll let you in on a little secret…. they don’t have it figured out. I don’t have it figured out, but I have a strong set of skills which allow my role as parent and caregiver to flow with a greater sense of ease. (most of the time!)

Acceptance

It took me years to finally figure this out. Stella was 6 when she spent 3 weeks in a coma, prior to that time I still thought of her as if she were a ‘typically’ developing child.

I enrolled her at her big sisters private school, thinking she would “catch up” to her peers with extra tutoring. She took ballet classes, until asked to leave as her seizures were too much for the other kids to witness. I was so busy trying to fit her into my ideal version of a daughter, forgetting about her needs and her disease, that I subconsciously created unnecessary added stress.

Accepting your role as a parent or caregiver has to happen first. Sure, it’s perfectly natural to complain sometimes, and wish your life were a little different, but learning to accept that caregiving is part of your life allows your to plan for it.

Research shows that parents or caregivers who accept their roles are more likely to see the beauty and feel true joy from caregiving.

Self care

We all know it, self care is vital for our heath and happiness. Even more so for caregivers as your job is to love and care for another individual. But, you must put your health first. Whatever brings you the most joy label as an AM — ABSOLUTE MUST, and this has to happen in the am hours. Start a practice of morning rituals that set you up for the day.

“First thing in the morning, start your day off with loving yourself before you love someone else”.

It might be 15 minutes of stretching your body, meditating, reading, journalling, or breathing fresh air etc. Don’t be ashamed of carving out this precious time for you. Your health and happiness truly depends on you showing up for YOU as much as your loved ones depend on you for their health.

Self care is so much more than those few precious minutes to start you day. Getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, connecting with friends is also important. Making time for you is what gives you the strength to be the best caregiver.

Learn to accept it’s ok to put yourself first and still be the nurturing caregiver or parent you want to be.

Be sure to download my FREE SELF LOVE rituals guide.

Boundaries

This is a biggie. We all have boundary issues, whether it’s taking on too much then later regretting it. Or allowing toxic people to linger far too long in your life, or perhaps being too scared to speak up for yourself.

Knowing your limits and when to say no thank you is paramount to your overall health and happiness. It’s absolutely ok to turn down added responsibilities you don’t really want to do or have the time for. Once you learn to recognize your stress triggers, creating and maintaining health boundaries will be easy to do and you’ll feel no guilt.

To be a successful caregivers or loving parent, you need to balance your own needs with the needs of the people you care for.

Silver Lining

There always is one, if you choose to look for it. Parenting, is tough on a good day. Add a sick baby, lack of sleep to an already jam packed day and you suddenly feel like your world is crumbling apart.

Caregiving is overwhelming as much as it is rewarding, it’s ok to have a few bad days where you think you can’t cope. But when the sneaky voice of doubt, or judgement starts to creep into your thoughts, repeat this mantra, “this too shall pass”.

“This too shall pass”

When Stella has days where she is unable to walk, talk, dress herself or even feed herself, “this too shall pass” is the mantra I have on repeat. My hubby has to remind me that we will get through it, but believe me, in the moment it’s agonizing, and I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t admit to feeling myself falling apart from watching her suffer.

The silver lining is this. There is incredible love so powerful that only a parent or caregiver can feel. True joy and experiences that you get to share with your loved ones are irreplaceable. You have a connection that no other soul gets to experience.

On the days you are overwhelmed, know you are not alone. These are the days that ultimately make you stronger and a better person. You will treasure the days when they flow with grace and ease.

There are 2 types of caregivers in the world. Which one are you?

You currently care for a loved one

This includes taking care of your own child, aging parent or loved one. It also includes your partner, spouse, boyfriend etc.

You are paid a caregiver

You care for someone as a job.

No matter what kind of caregiver you are, treasure every single moment and remember the beautiful and truly magical gift it is to share love with another being.