Struggling to stay positive?

Hi beautiful!

One of the questions I’m asked is how I am able to stay so positive during the COVID crisis we are all feeling and living.

Let me tell you the truth — I’m human too! Which means there is no way I am positive all the time. I have the same wide range of emotions you do. I feel the same fear, uncertainty, frustration and deep pain as you do. The kind of pain we all feel when we loose someone we love.

Here’s my technique to cope: I allow myself to fully feel any emotion that comes up during the day, but I don’t allow myself to get stuck in feeling sorrow or any other feeling of negativity. Nourishing my mind and spirit is equally as important as nourishing my body. It’s an essential part of my self-love practice and it should be yours too!

I choose to live intentionally. It’s been vital to my healing journey and it’s how I show up every day to be the best mum, caregiver, wife and business owner I can possibly be.

I had my wake up call when Stella spent 3 weeks in a coma. Fear controlled every single second of my day and it was the root cause of my health problems years later. I had no control whether or not my daughter lived, but I had to believe she would. And, it was choosing to be positive, optimistic and to have faith she would pull through that kept me strong. It’s what kept me from truly falling apart.

If I’m especially struggling and need to dig myself out of a downward spiral of despair, I repeat “this too shall pass”. It’s one of my all time favourite mantras, and can be used in almost any circumstance.

This too shall pass

My husband and I use this mantra when we need to remind each other things won’t always be as they are. Both the good and bad. When Stella is at her all time low, either with seizures or negative behavior we struggle with remembering her smile, and how sweet, kind and generous she is. We fall into feelings of despair and I find myself begging for her to come back to us. It’s like her internal light has been switched off and the Stella I know and love is gone.

This too shall pass reminds me how capable and resilient our bodies are. Every time Stella bounces back, I am reminded to fully embrace the joy and happy times we have and never to take anything for granted.

Next time the sun shines, stop to feel the warmth and know you are loved.

When you feel the gentle breeze kiss your face, recognize the life force inside you.

When you hear giggles and pure love from your child’s voice, be full present and drink in ever single second.

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.

– Brené Brown

 

I must have read over a 100 books while we lived in the hospital. Some fiction that purely kept my mind occupied and awake, but the books and writings of Louise Hay helped me see through the darkness that surrounded my waking hours. Her words taught me how to cultivate joy when I needed it the most, and her books taught me how to hope at a time when I felt no hope. Her teachings opened my mind to a whole new way of thinking, and gave me the strength and courage to believe my daughter would survive.

Let’s be honest, we all face deep pain and struggles at some point in our life, whether it be personal, family or real-world problems. No-one is immune from pain. Being positive doesn’t prevent you from feeling this pain, but it provides you with a tool to cope.

Positive Affirmations

A word or phrase that helps you retrain your brain to see things differently. I call them my “love muscles” — words of truth that remind me who I am, what I am, and are to the mind what exercise is to our body. The concept is quite simple. When you repeat words of positivity, your world shifts to a brighter and more bountiful place where you feel confidence, grace, love and joy!  Sound good? It truly works, trust me! 😘

15 years ago when I spent my days in darkness thinking I’d never see my daughters eyes again, or hear her giggles, I used positive affirmations to retrain my brain to be hopeful. You can easily get caught up in negative thought patterns which only make us feel worse. It’s like being stuck in quick sand with no rope to pull yourself out. You sink further and further into darkness, into a world of despair and a world of deep pain.

The good news is that our brains are powerful, and have the capability to pick up on any threat. Our subconscious mind turns into survival mode, this is what keeps us alive. It taught us how to escape a saber tooth tiger, and it can radically protect you from any negative emotion.

6 Affirmations you can use today

I am capable and create my own solutions

Far too often we doubt our own capabilities and tend to follow the path of others. Use this when you are judging or doubting your own inner strength! You are capable!

I choose to see things with love and grace

When you look at life or any situation with love and grace, you open your eyes to a whole new world and are capable of seeing the good and beauty all around you. This allows our shadow side to heal from old wounds stemming from fear, suffering and pain.

I am more than enough

Yes you are and you have to breathe this in daily. One of the most incredible gifts you can give yourself is unconditional love. Everything you want already exists deep inside you. The feelings of wanting more come from self judgment and wanting to be accepted. Believe me when I say this, you are more than enough just as you are. I see that, and now it’s your turn to see it too.

I breathe in Confidence and I release doubt

You have a gift that is so unique to you and when you choose courage over fear, you are capable of sharing your gift with the world.

I trust my body to tell me exactly what it needs

Ever have an inkling your body is trying to tell you something? It is! This is your time to slow down to lean into what YOUR needs are by listening. When our physical body is telling us we are in pain, it’s because we have lost connection with our true essence, spirit our soul. This is the time to reconnect with who we really are, and the choices we make.

Abundance flows with ease through me

You have an unlimited energy source within you and are capable of manifesting exactly what your heart desires. No matter what happens in life, you are limitless in how many times you can start over. Every hurdle is a new opportunity and your light will shine brighter the more you commit to being you!

Use affirmations with your children

I overheard my younger daughter Serena talking to herself the other day. She sounded like a playground bully. Her words were full of negativity and discouragement. My heart ached with a deep sadness to hear her say such painful and hurtful words to herself, but I knew she felt stuck and helpless. She was struggling with our new norm and needed tools to cope. I put my arms around her and reminded her the words she was using were negative and were breaking down her spirit, the same way a school bully does. We talked about the need to choose positive words, even we are feeling sad and frustrated.

By teaching our children to use words or sentences of positivity we enhance their wellbeing and boost their self-confidence. Affirmations encourage a growth mindset, they increase self-confidence and provide a sense of belonging. What I love most, is practicing affirmations together gives your child the tools to cope when you are not there. You’ve provided tools to relieve stress and any anxiety they might be feeling. How cool is that? Read how to use affirmations with your children here. 

Words of encouragement are powerful gifts we can share with anyone who needs a reminder of how strong, capable and beautiful they are.

Have you tried my 30 days of SELF LOVE Challenge?

Action: Write your positive affirmation down. Practice saying it out-loud and anytime you need a dose of empowerment.

Share what it is with me on Facebook Post your affirmations on Instagram (tag me @amandavs and #amandavs, #healthyissexy) I’d love to see all the love you are sharing with the world. 

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XO Amanda