the #1 tool that helped me eliminate panic attacks
In my late twenties, I experienced my first full blown panic attack. The experience left me feeling helpless and embarrassed. I was supposed to be a strong capable woman and instead I felt weak and like a failure. Later when I was experiencing regular and debilitating panic attacks I was diagnosed with panic disorder and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
I didn’t sleep for days on end because I was convinced my daughter was going to die. I felt my arms and legs go numb, my heart would pound in my chest and It felt as though the ground would no longer support me. I’d wake from a deep sleep with my heart racing and the feeling of not fully being able to breathe. Often I found myself on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. But the most unsettling symptom was the continuous feeling of impending doom and the certainty that I would loose my daughter and quite possibly my mind too.
You see, Stella had just woken from a 3 week long coma. I got to see her little face smile at me again, and even though she had a rough journey of healing ahead of her she was awake and breathing on her own. I knew she was out of the woods, I could rationalize what I was feeling was overwhelming stress yet I was crumbling inside.
My life became one of fear. I was afraid to let Stella out of my sight. I was afraid to take her out in public and I was scared to go back to work. That would entail getting on an airplane and being hours away from her. Basically, I was living in fear. Afraid of having another panic attack, scared to death to leave her and scared of the unknown future. I knew I was one step away from completely loosing my mind with grief. Instead of allowing myself to feel the pain and grief I endured in those 3 weeks I kept pushing it away.
Quick Fix
I desperately wanted a quick fix, but as much as I wanted someone to waive a magic wand and take all my pain away the thought of putting any kind of drug (even something as natural as a passionflower supplement) into my body instantly sent my nervous system into fight-or-flight mode. I knew I needed a natural solution for my anxiety and panic attacks that was sustainable and something I could use long term. Not just a Band- Aid.
I turned to the strength and support of my family. Family who had flown over from the UK to be with me and my girls. Having the support of my sister and Nanna then gave me the strength to start looking for other tools. While there were many holistic tools which helped me eliminate my panic attacks (which I’ll share in full in another blog), one of the most powerful and impactful tools was establishing a consistent meditation practice and incorporating mindfulness into my daily life.
I already had a daily movement practice, back then it was either yoga or a long run in nature, but it wasn’t enough. I needed something after my workout was over, I needed something in the middle of the night when everyone else was fast asleep. This is when I started a daily meditation practice and used mindfulness in every way possible to dig myself out of the darkest days of my life.
How Mindfulness Can Help
Much of the anxiety we experience on a daily basis is triggered by fear. Fear of what was and fear of the unknown. Developing mindfulness skills helps anchor us in the present moment. Mindfulness teaches us how to observe our thoughts, sensations, and emotions in the “here and now”, and can help us understand the difference between facts and feelings. When we’re in fight-or-flight mode, we act on impulse. This is a survival instinct. If there is an imminent threat, we need to react first and think second. In the case of anxiety and panic disorder, where there is usually no real external threat, the practice of mindfulness allows our conscious brain to turn back on, which helps soften the assault of our primitive limbic response.
Using Mindfulness to Meet Anxiety Instead of Avoiding It
The paradox of anxiety and panic stemming from fear is that the more we try to avoid anxious thought or feelings, the louder they pound on the door. When we open the door and invite them in, we can begin to retrain our nervous system to no longer fear them. Mindfulness teaches us how to respond to stress with awareness of what is happening in the present moment.
Practice Becoming a Mindful Observer
Perform a daily heck in with yourself. On a scale of one to ten (one being the lowest and ten being the highest), how would you rate your current level of anxiety?
Practice taking a few slow, deep, breaths. Slowly and completely inhale and exhale through your nose. Feel your belly softly inflating like a balloon as you inhale and softly releasing as you exhale. Begin to intentionally lengthen out your exhalations to a ratio of 2:1, making your OUT breath twice as long as your IN breath.
Steps for Mindful breathing
- Sit upright in a chair and place your feet flat on the floor or choose a meditation pillow or any other comfortable seated position
- Begin paying attention to your breath. Don’t try to change how you are breathing; simply observe your body as you inhale and exhale.
- You might notice your focus shifting elsewhere. Resist this urge and continue to focus on your breathing. A simple mantra might help keep you focused. I like to say “inhale” when I breathe in and “exhale” when I breathe out. Or to really feel love in my heart I repeat the mantra “Aham Prema” (I am divine love) Repeat Aham as you inhale and Prema as you exhale.
- Anxious thoughts may sneak into your mind. Acknowledge them, but then bring yourself back to awareness of your breathing and your mantra.
- Continue this quiet, nonjudgmental observation for about 10 minutes.
- Open your eyes and notice how you feel. Don’t evaluate, just observe.
After a few minutes of mindful breathing check back in. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your anxiety now? It’s okay if nothing has changed. The simple act of being more observant is already working to retrain your brain. This is a slow and steady process. I promise, over time, you will come to realize that any anxiety you feel ebbs and flows. You might feel scared, but that’s your subconscious mind lying to you and being a bully. We operate 95 to 99 percent of our lives from our subconscious mind. When we change the 5% of our thoughts (conscious thoughts) to those of gratitude and empowering thoughts the subconscious mind is slowly reprogramed.
When you first start with a mindful breathing practice, carve out a few minutes each day.
Check in
Check in with yourself multiple times throughout the day. You’ll start to notice any patterns. Are there certain times of day or certain activities that trigger higher levels of anxiety? Are there certain times of day or certain activities that help ease your anxiety? Uncovering patterns will help you change them.
It can be challenging to practice your mindfulness skills while in the midst of a full – blown panic attack, so build a strong foundation by practicing your breathing skills when you are feeling calm. Learn to recognize your triggers, and any time of day you experience overwhelming anxiety.
Getting acquainted with rather than avoiding your anxiety will fundamentally transform your relationship to it.
Want More Support?
Lastly, know that you are not alone. I’m a living example that overcoming panic attacks is possible. Sending you the hope, courage and love you need to heal! Be sure to sign up for my newsletter and you will be the first to receive something really special I am working on.